I cant bring back

Even though I have a vocabulary to save, I still have the problem of scarcity of words. I still suck in conversation. The damn problem seems to be never cured. The moments pass like hours and nothing goes right. Damnnnn damnnn damnnnn damnnn. Today I was like a mere pathetic stupid in front of a girl (damn ... i dont wanna think about it.. Stop thinking. stop thinking) Shit is happening .. yaaar ( oh god , please not with me )

I’m left in the wake of the mistake, slow to react in words. Fine line between this and that ! When things go wrong I pretend the past isn’t real. But Now I'm trapped in this memory, I cant be always that cool with this. I know, i wont be able to run always. Even if i run, I cant go too far... And whos gonna find trouble with me? Those who love me !!??