A boring holiday

Some thing was not right today. I was sooo bored. Its onam holidays here. I hate holidays. I took a pencil, and a page. I just wanned to draw something using that. I had good start. but it was bad... Any way its just a bad picture. Forget it... Thing is that i dont want to waste the pages in this beautiful and my dearest diary. I have nothing to write, nothing to draw. I am tired, and i cant sleep. My mind is out of order.

I read a book of APJ abdul kalam, Former president of India - wings of fire. That was an interesting and inspiring book for young generations. I liked the way he pictured each and every incident in his life and how worth was it. He is true. The future is in hand of us. But its the wolf inside us, which we feed, decide the future, of us and our country.

He can say those because he got people to listen to what he says. But what am I. Nobody care even if I shout at them. 'I am too young to take decisions and too old to being playful'. The reasons they can blame me for something is abundant. Of-course I was utter mischievous and playful when I was a kid. Those days are over. But a lot of people still treat me like a kid. How irritating !

Their bad... bad...football luck *

Ist year college day sports. Time, midday around 1. Almost exhausted by running under in hot sun. I was playing mid field on the right wing and had to stay behind the center line because of the offenders. Neither team scored yet. 3 minutes to go the final whistle.

Their Last attack was through the left wing, they missed their pass while intercepted by our 2 quarter backs. The goalkeeper had only choice to make a divert by tackling and pushed the loose ball to me where I was reaching for a defense from my position. I could easily collect the ball. when I turned around for a sprint I saw 3 guys of opposition onto me. I get rid of the first guy with a fake move. the second and third was together, and there was not enough room to make round about.
I looked for a help.

I saw our striker around on center line, not covered. I wanted to reach the ball to him. I had only a single choice. I pushed ball forward for a two step distance, started a short quick step to kick it with rest of the energy I had. By seeing my take off second guy who is approaching from front paused and covered his hand over his head. Third guy bend down to avoid the hitting of ball if i kick it. I didnt expected that move. All I wanted is to not to let them take ball from me. The ball flew in air and took a slight bend and descended.

Our striker collected it with his chest and That could hurt a little bit. I thought he is going to take a free sprint as there in nobody to support him. But he stopped the ball. I think he was exhausted. He looked at the enemy goal post. He was like 'he wont be able to breach their defense alone' and thats just a mere fact! He just pulled the ball into air and kicked it full force.

That was a long & slow way the ball traveled. Every body watched with open eyes and open mouth. The goal keeper of them was struggling to make out the flight. The ball pitched a few meters in front of him and bounced again. That was just a height the keeper could grab it. I thought he got it. The ball flew, reached its height, and descended. The ball just kissed the fingers of the goal keeper and fall into the goal post. The crowed paused their cheering for a second. what happened ! we were looking each others face. we didnt laughed. we didnt cried either. I saw our stupid striker holding his both hand over his head. Every one was like "what the **** ".

I cant bring back

Even though I have a vocabulary to save, I still have the problem of scarcity of words. I still suck in conversation. The damn problem seems to be never cured. The moments pass like hours and nothing goes right. Damnnnn damnnn damnnnn damnnn. Today I was like a mere pathetic stupid in front of a girl (damn ... i dont wanna think about it.. Stop thinking. stop thinking) Shit is happening .. yaaar ( oh god , please not with me )

I’m left in the wake of the mistake, slow to react in words. Fine line between this and that ! When things go wrong I pretend the past isn’t real. But Now I'm trapped in this memory, I cant be always that cool with this. I know, i wont be able to run always. Even if i run, I cant go too far... And whos gonna find trouble with me? Those who love me !!??

Mordernising act of arts ...

There had a time when colors stated the part of my mind. Its an oil painting. I found it when I was cleaning shelf, my old books and papers. A very nostalgic one. I dont listen to my heart now a days. huh. I need to find a pathetic excuse of being timeless...

Chivalry still exists .. here

Its Ramzan tomorrow. Harvesting days for the chivalry that still exist in human beings. A dedication to god and himself.

Some people did complain like "where the chivalry has gone?". Does the chivalry ends up in giving your seat to a standing young lady in a bus? Or should I show my chivalry to all those drunkards who sit in road side and begs, while my neighbour or friend is sick and hungry.






It do exist, but not the way it seems to be.
It will exist, untill, it can be afforded.

The category of people who needs this is defined in surah at-Taubah (9) verse 60: " The alms are only for the poor and the needy, and those who collect them, and those whose hearts are to be reconciled, and to free the captives and the debtors, and for the cause of Allah, and (for) the wayfarers; a duty imposed by Allah. Allah is knower, Wise." (The Holy Qur'an 9:60).

We hope this is the right way.. Its gonna be a sleepless long night.

Steps and sands

A Time is being what u wan me to be
feeling so faithless, Lost under the surface

Do know what ur expecting of me
put under the pressure, walking in ur shoes

Every steps I take another mistake to you...

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY

F0r peace makers !!


F0r tr0ubIe makers !!


F0r enthusiasts !!


63rd Huh. I'm impressed !!

The Gamer in me

Hai fellas. If u feel like you want to kill time... This is the right place. Welcome to gamers world. Again welcome to Urban terror (UrT). This time i wanna introduce one of my favorite game. A free online game make me go crazy when started playing.

I used to get a lot of criticism, especially from my dad and friends, do to the gamer inside me. They say I'm wasting my time by playing game.... Thing is that they dont know the fact that i'm killing my time as I want to avoid the gossipings and talkings. Bye the way its true, i dont like talking and i dont talk much with others. I feel like out of words. I have tried it many times and most of the time end up in some kinda stupid situations, like i'm in a world that i dont have any fkin words to put it. Or may be u can say 'a subject worth others to keep their interest of talk on'. Most of the time that continuity of talk end with my suggestion and others wont get a thread to carry on the talk. But there 'll a lot of chances that others can laugh on what i said. So i always try to avoid talks and keep my self busy with laptop and the games.

lets get back to subject. This game is just wonderful and its 100 % free to use and distribute. But for newbies its gona a little tougher, coz most of the players who play online'll be pros and hard core gamers. U can install it in windows as well as linux. But i dont know about rest of the os. Require moderate configs. . but u'll require a faster net connection... The game will work as 1 server and few clients. Its even possible to host a server in ur office or home network and connect to this.
Depending upon ur IQ, reflex and how cool u r with ur mouse, u can choose a wide range of weapons. That includes these... look this pic below. Nades, medic, knife and pist0Isss as weII !



When getting int0 business, the soldier inside will come out. Only thing u have to worry that, u'll need a perfect pair of headphones to make out, where the bullets are coming from the silences PSG, M4, AK, Uzi and mp5. Quality of sound - perfect, but u wont here gun shots when ur enemy is hiding somewhere with a silencer on it. Here are some screen shots. Enjoy the ride. Bye the way my call sign is 'sniffffer'. Save it now. There wont be enough time to get acquainted there... ;) .


HaII ways are the best pIace t0 hide !!

AKs are my best, sharp and accurate f0r spraying buIIets !

HU HU !! Nice dance !

Damn, I hit my team mate t00000 !

Just a daily routine.

Just to keep doctor and chemicals away from my body. I waste rest of my energy on every day after 7.30 . After 2 hr workout, and food, I'll get a sleep thats so deep and refreshing. I even forget to dream about anything.

And Next morning .... will be just a FRESH morning.

This gym instructor never allowed any one to take a pic. But some how i was able to convince him. Its very spacious and worth a lot of machines... I love this place

Not ANY MORE....#$%#*&^

I used to be calm,
... used to be cool,
... used to be generous.

Then .....the ignorants,

They took advantage of that,
Thinking, I'll be always like that.
The facts, that I cant forget like that.

Now ..... I pretend

I'm little bit insecure,
... little unconfident,
... and a little bit, 'not any more'

Now .... I say "@#$%^&"